As I have expressed before when discussing forgiveness; if someone wrongs us and we choose not to seek a penalty for them we have forgiven them. If we try to have a penalty imposed then we have not forgiven them. It our action that counts.
Too often we think that forgiveness is just a feeling inside ourselves. How we cope with our feelings of anger or loss is a personal matter, but unless we take action to exact a penalty, how we feel is irrelevant to the offender. To forgive means no action - to not forgive means action.
Many will disagree with me because they think that the whole business of forgiveness takes place in their heart. Christians will sometimes say they forgive, in the belief that the offender will answer to Jesus. This is a part of their subjective reality.
Objective reality is a more demanding master. Generally, wrong doer's only respond to the latter. Forgiving someone may not be in the long term interest of the offender. Paying a penalty or even knowing that a penalty is payable acts as a deterrent.